Bargaining in the Shadow of the Heart: Integrating Emotional and Intellectual Intelligence in Collaborative Practice

Date and time: 
August 25, 2023 - 9:00am to September 15, 2023 - 12:00pm
Event type: 
IACP Event


We all know that the disputes we are called upon to resolve have a lot to do with emotions and psychology. And yet most of us receive inadequate training on how to work with these dimensions, and even less on how to integrate the emotional and psychological dimensions with the legal and financial aspects. This seminar focuses on these more neglected elements: how to work effectively and skillfully with emotions and psychological issues, and how to integrate that work with the legal and financial questions that our clients must resolve. Course format will be a combination of lecture, discussion, roleplays, and experiential exercises.


Course Objectives:

Participants will be able to:

● Listen skillfully on multiple levels to the parties in order to connect deeply with them, develop rapport, build trust, and ascertain their deepest goals, hopes and concerns.

● Inquire into and work with the parties’ non-material interests and core needs as well as their legal and financial concerns.

● Structure collaborative processes so that they are informed by the parties’ values and aspirations around how they want to negotiate, the kind of relationship they would like to have with each other going forward, and positive outcomes they want for their children.

● Integrate the parties’ material and non-material interests in terms of both process and substantive agreements.


Day 1: Beyond Interest-Based Negotiation 

● Unexamined assumptions and limitations underlying conventional DR approaches 

● The Legal and Emotional Cases

● Core Needs and Non-Material Interests

● The Limits of the Emotional Dimension

Day 2: The Art of Listening 

● Emotional competence

● Listening to me, listening to you, listening to us

● Harnessing our multiple intelligences

● The psychological dimension

Day 3: Into the Heart of Conflict 

● Sources of conflict

● Revisioning impasse

● Emotional outcroppings and what to do with them

● Redefining roles and goals

Day 4: Integrating the Legal and Emotional Cases

● Bilingual (legal & emotional) problem-solving 

● Bargaining from connection

● Dialoguing between the how and the why as well as the what and the when

● Memorializing agreements


Seminar Dates and Times: 

August 25, September 1, 8, 15, 2023
9:00 AM - 12:00 PM PDT (please check your local time here)

This course will be taught by skilled trainer, Stephen H. Sulmeyer, J.D., Ph.D., clinical 
psychologist, lawyer, mediator, and active IACP member.


Course prerequisites: Earnestness and a willingness to be bold and vulnerable.
Digital handouts and materials will be provided via email prior to the start of the seminar.


Registration is open to active IACP members and non-members:

IACP members: US $500.00 - *Please login to your IACP profile prior to registering*

Non-IACP members: US $550.00


Participants are expected to participate in ALL online sessions to be eligible to receive a certificate of attendance.  The sessions will not be recorded.

A Zoom link will be emailed to registered participants in the confirmation email.


Online via Zoom

Contact email: