Adopting the Dr. Boyce’s Orchid/Dandelion framework, we explore challenging behaviours that show up in our collaborative cases. ‘Orchid’ clients show up with seemingly insatiable needs and no set of instructions. We can respond most effectively when we identify specific challenging behaviours and understand why they are showing up. Often, there are rational reasons for their irrational behaviours.
Becoming the change you wish to see in the future, requires that you start within. When we experience conflict, make mistakes, or feel inadequate it’s hard to be aware of what’s occurring internally. We may resist, deny, or blame others because our brains say things like: “I don’t like/ want this feeling”, or “What is wrong with me for having this feeling?” This PFI is an adventure in self-discovery and personal insight so you can show up and show out, authentically at the Collaborative table.
Drawing from the work of Adam Kahane’s Facilitating Breakthrough and Bernie Mayer’s The Conflict Paradox, we will explore the vexing polarities and contradictions we find in conflict. They present themselves to facilitators during our process choices: do we design process vertically, focusing on the good of the group, or horizontally, relying on the autonomy and differing needs of the individuals? Many paradoxes present as dilemmas at the center of conflict for our clients and also for us as facilitators.
"We need to talk." For so most of us, those four little words represent a request (or demand) for a dreaded, difficult conversation. For our clients, the words often foreshadow "the end". We do great work supporting our clients' difficult conversations, but is it time we had our own "little talk"? This workshop invites you to join a refreshing and honest conversation about the threats we face in Collaborative Practice. What are our worries telling us? Despite how awesome it is (and we are!), CP is still not the number one choice for families.
How can we be effective advocates while remaining true to the goals and values of the Collaborative Process? The IACP Ethical Standards address advocacy including: our obligation to support client self-determination, set reasonable expectations, be mindful of the impact of our personal values and beliefs and avoid contributing to interpersonal conflict. This course will explore Collaborative Advocacy in light of s. 3.2 of the Standards. How do we use an interest-based model where there is little trust or goodwill and what is the role of the law?
The world over, trained collaborative practitioners experience frustration about low client numbers, lack of success in engaging both spouses, cases running off the rails, impasse and issues arising from dysfunctional teams. MELCA has been managing these challenges for over a decade. MELCA is an interdisciplinary collaborative divorce business designed from start to finish with the clients’ experience at its heart.
We Collaborative professionals sometimes forget how powerful and effective it can be to ask the right question at the right time. Well-chosen questions can open people’s hearts and minds. In this interactive workshop, David Hoffman will offer a framework for thinking about what types of questions we should consider asking at different stages of the Collaborative process. We will also do several exercises that explore our goals in asking questions and the impact those questions have on the recipients.
Most approaches to managing high conflict individuals and couples focus on managing them. While important, it’s equally if not more important to manage ourselves, in which case managing them will not be as challenging. The key to managing ourselves is to develop negative capacity—the ability to endure the unendurable. It is our capability to stay present to our own disturbing and frightening feelings and sensations and not run away from them in our habitual ways that allows us to stay present with the high conflict persons who we feel triggered by.
Collaborative cases appear to be presenting us with more twists and turns, higher conflict and complexities then ever before. Social pressures and COVID life are heavily impacting all of us. Practitioners are stretched then, anxiety is high and our learning curves feel as if they are mazed out. Shake it together and our Collaborative containers are not holding up. We will show you where the breaches are occuring, and offer solutions to repair, replace and rejunivate the team and client experience.
How can listening clear the blocks that get in the way of deeper engagement and open pathways to deeper dialogue? In a world that seems to value “show and tell” more than “sit and listen”, how can genuine and curious listening make a difference? When Jacinta Gallant noticed that her well-developed “telling” muscles needed some balance - an occupational hazard for lawyers - she began to explore listening, which led to a journey with curiosity, which led to exhilarating and transformative learning.