IACP blogs

Collaborative Practice: From a Root Note to a Movement

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 03:05:27 GMT

Author Michael P. Sampson

Three and a half decades ago, Stu Webb sounded a note that sent hearts racing. People who heard him developed, harmonized, and amplified his first note. Creative, smart, driven, humble leaders, first in California, then well beyond, added depth and direction to a movement that became Collaborative Practice.

The pulsing Collaborative Practice movement has steadily grown since the 1990s. As the music has evolved, it has inspired a flock that itself has inspired others to join the current – thousands worldwide, of all shapes and colors. They play not in a cacophony, but in a textured orchestra. They welcome new voices, players, variations, and ideas into Collaborative Practice.

This article is part of Florida Collaborative Quarterly — Issue 001, a publication of the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals exploring the development and practice of Collaborative Law and interdisciplinary collaboration.

The walls of the concert halls, connected in a global network, are flexible. They channel sound, energy, and creativity as the melodies fill the halls, testing their walls. Yet the guiding principles the first Collaborative players established support the music as it becomes more layered and expands to touch more people.

From the first notes, to chords, to an anthem of hope, Collaborative Practice keeps swelling. The people whose needs Collaborative Practice and its practitioners serve drive them to keep practicing, playing, and improving.

The Chord Makers: Why Not California…Why Not the US…Why Not the World?

Among the first Collaborative Practice chord makers were Pauline Tesler, Peggy Thompson, Nancy Ross, Jennifer Jackson, and other Californian professionals. After they picked up Stu Webb's signal, they began to develop Collaborative divorce in San Francisco and the Bay Area in the early 1990s. Not short on ambition or ideas, and prepared to persevere, they let their ideas develop into big ideas.

If Stu Webb is the Bach of Collaborative Practice, Pauline Tesler is its Mozart. In her interview in 2007 with her colleague, Jennifer Jackson, a founding International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) board member and coeditor with Tesler of the voice of the IACP – its Collaborative Review – Jackson describes the early expansion of Collaborative Practice:

Pauline H. Tesler, Making a Difference: Jennifer Jackson Helped Shape and Launch IACP , IACP Collaborative Review. Vol. 9, Issue 1 (Spring 2007) (emphasis added).

Jamming in Chicago Like It's 1999

Collaborative leaders met in Chicago in 1999. Jennifer Jackson describes the widening of the vision of Collaborative Practice from “American” to “International” after that meeting:

Pauline H. Tesler, Making a Difference: Jennifer Jackson Helped Shape and Launch IACP , IACP Collaborative Review. Vol. 9, Issue 1 (Spring 2007).

The Music Takes Root

The first note maker, Stu Webb, said:

"…Collaborative Law is reinvented wherever it takes root.

And that’s the way it should be."

IACP, Collaborative Review , Vol. 2, No. 3 (Fall 2001).

The following table details the forward march of Collaborative Practice. "UCLA/R" refers to the Uniform Collaborative Law Act and Rule and jurisdictions that adopted it as the music unfolded.

Date Range

Key Events

1990 – 1994

- Stu Webb writes a February 14, 1990 letter to Judge Sandy Keith introducing Collaborative Law with disqualification commitment to not go to court if settlement efforts are unsuccessful.

- Pauline Tesler reads a 1992 article about a Stu Webb seminar on Collaborative Law.

- Stu Webb shares ideas about Collaborative Law with Pauline Tesler and Forrest "Woody" Mosten .

- Development of Collaborative Divorce in California (1992-1993) by Pauline Tesler, Peggy Thompson , Nancy Ross , Jennifer Jackson , and others, merging mental health and legal expertise.

1995 – 1999

- California collaborative group (1997-1998) meets monthly, develops an interdisciplinary model with professionals including Tesler, Thompson, Ross, Jackson.

- AVM (Anwaltliche Vereinigung für Mediation und kooperatives Verhandeln) is founded in Austria to promote mediation and cooperative negotiation, including Collaborative Practice elements in the legal profession (1997).

- Pauline Tesler conducts a marketing blitz : sends materials to professionals, writes articles about Collaborative Practice, including in the American Journal of Family Law and Psychology, Public Policy, and Law (1998-1999).

- The California collaborative group forms the American Institute of Collaborative Professionals (AICP) (1999).

- AICP transitions to International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) after a Chicago meeting (1999).

- Vancouver Collaborative Divorce Group is established (1999).

- First issue of the AICP's Collaborative Quarterly , which becomes the IACP's Collaborative Review , hits the press; co-editors Pauline Tesler and Peggy Thompson (March 1999).

2000 – 2004

- Louisiana interdisciplinary collaborative training project for low-income families is developed by Judge Ross Foote with Peggy Thompson and Nancy Ross (2002).

- Think tank led by Peggy Thompson and A. Rodney Nurse works on a systems approach and interdisciplinary model for high-conflict families (October 2002).

- Quebec Collaborative Law Group is established (October 2002).

- Ontario Association of Collaborative Professionals is established (2002).

- San Francisco County, California Superior Court Local Rules establishes a Collaborative Law department (2003).

- Various British Columbia and Ontario groups like Collaborative Practice Durham, Collaborative Practice Hamilton Halton, Kingston Collaborative Family Law begin (2003).

- Switzerland's CLP Schweiz (cooperatives verhandein) is established (2003).

- Pauline H. Tesler writes Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce Without Litigation , American Bar Association, Section of Family Law (2003).

- IACP holds a public education meeting in Chicago to expand the use of Collaborative Practice around the world (October 2003).

- Sheila M. Gutterman writes Collaborative Law: A New Model for Dispute Resolution , Bradford Publishing Company (2004).

- Julie Macfarlane writes Experiences of Collaborative Law: Preliminary Results from the Collaborative Lawyering Research Project , J. Disp. Resolution 179 (2004).

- Nancy J. Cameron writes Second Edition of Collaborative Practice: Deepening the Dialogue (2014).

- Pauline Tesler conducts a collaborative training for Scottish practitioners to bring Collaborative Practice to Scotland (2004).

- Global Collaborative Law Council (formerly the Texas Collaborative Law Council) is established to focus on Collaborative Practice for resolving civil disputes (2004).

- Collaborative Divorce Toronto and York Collaborative Practice are established (2004).

- IACP approves its tagline ""Collaborative Practice: Resolving Disputes Respectfully." (January 2004).

2005 – 2009

- IACP conducts Professional Practice Survey to collect data from 933 collaborative cases (2005).

- Collaborative groups form: Consensus Collaboration Scotland , Association of Collaborative Practitioners ( Ireland ) , Collaborative Practice Simcoe County , Grey-Bruce , Collaborative Family Law London & Middlesex ( Ontario ) , Collaborative Professionals (NSW) Inc. ( New South Wales, Australia ) , Dublin Practice Group ( Ireland ) (2005).

- Pauline H. Tessler & Peggy Thompson write Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move On With Your Life (2006).

- Stu Webb and Ron Ousky write The Collaborative Way to Divorce: “The Revolutionary Method that Results in Less Stress, Lower Costs and Happier Kids, Without Going to Court , Harper Collins (2006).

- Collaborative groups form: Ordre des Barreaux Francophones et Germanophone ( Belgium ) ; Queensland Association ; Bermuda Alliance (2006).

- IACP focuses on research and developing survey instruments to collect data on collaborative matters (2006).

- A Drafting Committee of the Uniform Law Commission beings work on drafting the Uniform Collaborative Law Act (2007).

- IACP develops a client survey (2007).

- First CP (Cooperative Praxis) seminar in Germany takes place (August 2007).

- Collaborative Practice Manitoba , Collaborative Divorce Ottawa are established (2008).

- Association of Collaborative Family Professionals ( Edmonton ) is established (2008).

- Collaborative Divorce Association Holland is established (2008).

- Collaborative Practice expands focus on including allied professionals (collateral services) on Collaborative teams.

- Collaborative leaders increasingly emphasize and write about neuroscience in Collaborative Practice (2008-2009).

- Second Edition of Pauline H. Tesler's Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce Without Litigation , American Bar Association, Section of Family Law is published (2009).

- Forrest S. Mosten writes Collaborative Divorce Handbook: Effectively Helping Divorcing Families Without Going to Court , Jossey Bass (2009).

- German Association for Cooperative Practice ( DVCP) (February 2008) and Cooperative Praxis München (May 2008) are established.

- Association Française des Praticiens du Droit Collaboratif (AFPDC) is established in France (May 2009).

- Vereniging van Collaborative Professionals ( Netherlands ) is established (2009).

- Central Sydney Collaborative Forum ( Australia ) is formed (2009).

2010 – 2014

- Two associations are established to spread Collaborative Practice in Italy : Instituto Italiano di Diritto Collaborativo (IICL) [Italian Institute of Collaborative Law] ( Rome ) and the Associazione Italiana degli Avvocati di Diritto Collaborativo (AIADC) [Italian Association of Collaborative Law Attorneys] ( Milan ) (2010).

- Collaborative Practice Canberra ( Australia ) is established (2010).

- South Dublin Collaborative Lawyers is established (2010).

- IACP expands focus on research and data (2010).

- Collaborative Practice Niagara (Ontario, Canada) is established (2011).

- Collaborative Resolution New Zealand is established (2011).

- IACP adopts a strategic plan and defines "Collaborative Practice" (2011).

- Hong Kong Collaborative Practice Group is established (February 2011).

- British Columbia Collaborative Roster Society is established (2012).

- Collaborative training takes place at the European Conference in Edinburgh (2012).

- IACP publishes the research results from its Professional Practice Survey from October 16, 2006 through July 6, 2010 (April 2012).

- Abogados Colaborativos de Familia ( Spain ) is established (2013).

- Singapore Mediation Centre is established and the first successful Collaborative family law case is completed (2013).

- IACP forms its Inaugural Leadership Academy (2013).

- European Network for Collaborative Professionals (ENCP) is formed (2014).

- IACP expands its focus to address access to Collaborative Practice , lo bono and pro bono models, and reaching diverse, underserved populations.

- Nancy J. Cameron writes Second Edition of Collaborative Practice: Deepening the Dialogue (2014).

- IACP conducts second client study , to gather data about client experiences and satisfaction from a diverse sample of divorced individuals using different process options, including Collaborative divorce (2014).

- The Collaborative Family Law Clinic (C-LAW) at Loyola Law School is started as a pilot program within the Loyola Center for Conflict Resolution (LCCR). It trains students in family law and the collaborative process in partnership with the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association (2014).

- Barry University School of Law starts a Pro Bono Collaborative Family Law Clinic , a model for law students to handle divorce cases using Collaborative Practice, under the supervision of Collaborative Professionals, for actual clients (2014).

- Instituto Brasileiro de Práticas Colaborativas (IBPC) ( Brasil ) is established (2014).

- UCLA/R adoptions: Utah (May 11, 2010), Texas (September 1, 2011), DC (May 9, 2012), Hawaii (July 1, 2012), Nevada (January 1, 2013), Ohio (March 22, 2013), Washington (July 28, 2013), Alabama (January 1, 2014), Maryland (October 2014), Michigan (December 8, 2014), New Jersey (December 9, 2014).

2015 – 2019

- Collaborative Professionals of Saskatchewan is established (2015).

- Peel Halton Collaborative and Speed River Collaborative ( Ontario ) are established (2015).

- Adelaide Collaborative Practice Group is established (2015).

- Okanagan Collaborative Family Law Group is established (2016).

- Brant Haldimand Norfolk Collaborative Family Law Group is established (2016).

- Australian Association of Collaborative Professionals established (2016).

- North Brisbane Collaborative Practice Group is established (2016).

- Asociación de Derecho Colaborativo de Euskadi ( Basque Country, Spain ) is established (2017).

- First Brazilian Congress of Collaborative Practices (2017).

- Quinte Collaborative Divorce and Kawartha Collaborative Practice are established (2017).

- Victorian Association of Collaborative Professionals is established (2017).

- Third Edition of Pauline H. Tesler, Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce Without Litigation , American Bar Association, Section of Family Law is published (2017).

- Associació Catalana De Dret Col·laboratiu (Collaborative Law Catalan Association) ( Spain ) established (September 21, 2017).

- Grupo Panameño de Practicas Colaborativas ( Panama ) is established (2018).

- Collaborative Professionals of Canada is formed (April 28, 2019).

- Forrest S. Mosten and Adam B. Cordover edit and the American Bar Association Section on Family Law publish Building a Successful Collaborative Family Law Practice (2019).

- UCLA/R adoptions: Montana (October 1, 2015), Arizona (January 1, 2016), North Dakota (March 1, 2016), Florida (July 1, 2016 and eff. July 1, 2017 rules), New Mexico (December 31, 2017), Illinois (January 1, 2018), Pennsylvania (August 27, 2018), Tennessee (April 1, 2019).

2020 – present

- Academia Latinoamericana de Práctica Colaborativa) ( ALdeCO) ( Argentina ) is established (2020).

- Collaborative Practice Sudbury is established (2020).

- Malaysian Collaborative Practice Group is formed (March 18, 2021).

- IACP is nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize (2022)

- UCLA/R adoptions: North Carolina (October 1, 2020), Virginia (July 1, 2021), New Hampshire (October 9, 2021), Colorado (January 1, 2022), Kentucky (July 15, 2024), Louisiana (August 1, 2024), Mississippi (August 26, 2024), Connecticut (October 1, 2025), Oklahoma (January 1, 2026).

Date Range	Key Events
1990 – 1994	- Stu Webb writes a February 14, 1990 letter to Judge Sandy Keith introducing Collaborative Law with disqualification commitment to not go to court if settlement efforts are unsuccessful. - Pauline Tesler reads a 1992 article about a Stu Webb seminar on Collaborative Law. - Stu Webb shares ideas about Collaborative Law with Pauline Tesler and Forrest "Woody" Mosten . - Development of Collaborative Divorce in California (1992-1993) by Pauline Tesler, Peggy Thompson , Nancy Ross , Jennifer Jackson , and others, merging mental health and legal expertise.
1995 – 1999	- California collaborative group (1997-1998) meets monthly, develops an interdisciplinary model with professionals including Tesler, Thompson, Ross, Jackson. - AVM (Anwaltliche Vereinigung für Mediation und kooperatives Verhandeln) is founded in Austria to promote mediation and cooperative negotiation, including Collaborative Practice elements in the legal profession (1997). - Pauline Tesler conducts a marketing blitz : sends materials to professionals, writes articles about Collaborative Practice, including in the American Journal of Family Law and Psychology, Public Policy, and Law (1998-1999). - The California collaborative group forms the American Institute of Collaborative Professionals (AICP) (1999). - AICP transitions to International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) after a Chicago meeting (1999). - Vancouver Collaborative Divorce Group is established (1999). - First issue of the AICP's Collaborative Quarterly , which becomes the IACP's *Collaborative Review* , hits the press; co-editors Pauline Tesler and Peggy Thompson (March 1999).
2000 – 2004	- Louisiana interdisciplinary collaborative training project for low-income families is developed by Judge Ross Foote with Peggy Thompson and Nancy Ross (2002). - Think tank led by Peggy Thompson and A. Rodney Nurse works on a systems approach and interdisciplinary model for high-conflict families (October 2002). - Quebec Collaborative Law Group is established (October 2002). - Ontario Association of Collaborative Professionals is established (2002). - San Francisco County, California Superior Court Local Rules establishes a Collaborative Law department (2003). - Various British Columbia and Ontario groups like Collaborative Practice Durham, Collaborative Practice Hamilton Halton, Kingston Collaborative Family Law begin (2003). - Switzerland's CLP Schweiz (cooperatives verhandein) is established (2003). - Pauline H. Tesler writes Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce Without Litigation , American Bar Association, Section of Family Law (2003). - IACP holds a public education meeting in Chicago to expand the use of Collaborative Practice around the world (October 2003). - Sheila M. Gutterman writes Collaborative Law: A New Model for Dispute Resolution , Bradford Publishing Company (2004). - Julie Macfarlane writes Experiences of Collaborative Law: Preliminary Results from the Collaborative Lawyering Research Project , J. Disp. Resolution 179 (2004). - Nancy J. Cameron writes Second Edition of Collaborative Practice: Deepening the Dialogue (2014). - Pauline Tesler conducts a collaborative training for Scottish practitioners to bring Collaborative Practice to Scotland (2004). - Global Collaborative Law Council (formerly the Texas Collaborative Law Council) is established to focus on Collaborative Practice for resolving civil disputes (2004). - Collaborative Divorce Toronto and York Collaborative Practice are established (2004). - IACP approves its tagline ""Collaborative Practice: Resolving Disputes Respectfully." (January 2004).
2005 – 2009	- IACP conducts Professional Practice Survey to collect data from 933 collaborative cases (2005). - Collaborative groups form: Consensus Collaboration Scotland , Association of Collaborative Practitioners ( Ireland ) , Collaborative Practice Simcoe County , Grey-Bruce , Collaborative Family Law London & Middlesex ( Ontario ) , Collaborative Professionals (NSW) Inc. ( New South Wales, Australia ) , Dublin Practice Group ( Ireland ) (2005). - Pauline H. Tessler & Peggy Thompson write Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move On With Your Life (2006). - Stu Webb and Ron Ousky write The Collaborative Way to Divorce: “The Revolutionary Method that Results in Less Stress, Lower Costs and Happier Kids, Without Going to Court , Harper Collins (2006). - Collaborative groups form: Ordre des Barreaux Francophones et Germanophone ( Belgium ) ; Queensland Association ; Bermuda Alliance (2006). - IACP focuses on research and developing survey instruments to collect data on collaborative matters (2006). - A Drafting Committee of the Uniform Law Commission beings work on drafting the Uniform Collaborative Law Act (2007). - IACP develops a client survey (2007). - First CP (Cooperative Praxis) seminar in Germany takes place (August 2007). - Collaborative Practice Manitoba , Collaborative Divorce Ottawa are established (2008). - Association of Collaborative Family Professionals ( Edmonton ) is established (2008). - Collaborative Divorce Association Holland is established (2008). - Collaborative Practice expands focus on including allied professionals (collateral services) on Collaborative teams. - Collaborative leaders increasingly emphasize and write about neuroscience in Collaborative Practice (2008-2009). - Second Edition of Pauline H. Tesler's Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce Without Litigation , American Bar Association, Section of Family Law is published (2009). - Forrest S. Mosten writes Collaborative Divorce Handbook: Effectively Helping Divorcing Families Without Going to Court , Jossey Bass (2009). - German Association for Cooperative Practice ( DVCP) (February 2008) and Cooperative Praxis München (May 2008) are established. - Association Française des Praticiens du Droit Collaboratif (AFPDC) is established in France (May 2009). - Vereniging van Collaborative Professionals ( Netherlands ) is established (2009). - Central Sydney Collaborative Forum ( Australia ) is formed (2009).
2010 – 2014	- Two associations are established to spread Collaborative Practice in Italy : Instituto Italiano di Diritto Collaborativo (IICL) [Italian Institute of Collaborative Law] ( Rome ) and the Associazione Italiana degli Avvocati di Diritto Collaborativo (AIADC) [Italian Association of Collaborative Law Attorneys] ( Milan ) (2010). - Collaborative Practice Canberra ( Australia ) is established (2010). - South Dublin Collaborative Lawyers is established (2010). - IACP expands focus on research and data (2010). - Collaborative Practice Niagara (Ontario, Canada) is established (2011). - Collaborative Resolution New Zealand is established (2011). - IACP adopts a strategic plan and defines "Collaborative Practice" (2011). - Hong Kong Collaborative Practice Group is established (February 2011). - British Columbia Collaborative Roster Society is established (2012). - Collaborative training takes place at the European Conference in Edinburgh (2012). - IACP publishes the research results from its Professional Practice Survey from October 16, 2006 through July 6, 2010 (April 2012). - Abogados Colaborativos de Familia ( Spain ) is established (2013). - Singapore Mediation Centre is established and the first successful Collaborative family law case is completed (2013). - IACP forms its Inaugural Leadership Academy (2013). - European Network for Collaborative Professionals (ENCP) is formed (2014). - IACP expands its focus to address access to Collaborative Practice , lo bono and pro bono models, and reaching diverse, underserved populations. - Nancy J. Cameron writes Second Edition of Collaborative Practice: Deepening the Dialogue (2014). - IACP conducts second client study , to gather data about client experiences and satisfaction from a diverse sample of divorced individuals using different process options, including Collaborative divorce (2014). - The Collaborative Family Law Clinic (C-LAW) at Loyola Law School is started as a pilot program within the Loyola Center for Conflict Resolution (LCCR). It trains students in family law and the collaborative process in partnership with the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association (2014). - Barry University School of Law starts a Pro Bono Collaborative Family Law Clinic , a model for law students to handle divorce cases using Collaborative Practice, under the supervision of Collaborative Professionals, for actual clients (2014). - Instituto Brasileiro de Práticas Colaborativas (IBPC) ( Brasil ) is established (2014). - UCLA/R adoptions: Utah (May 11, 2010), Texas (September 1, 2011), DC (May 9, 2012), Hawaii (July 1, 2012), Nevada (January 1, 2013), Ohio (March 22, 2013), Washington (July 28, 2013), Alabama (January 1, 2014), Maryland (October 2014), Michigan (December 8, 2014), New Jersey (December 9, 2014).
2015 – 2019	- Collaborative Professionals of Saskatchewan is established (2015). - Peel Halton Collaborative and Speed River Collaborative ( Ontario ) are established (2015). - Adelaide Collaborative Practice Group is established (2015). - Okanagan Collaborative Family Law Group is established (2016). - Brant Haldimand Norfolk Collaborative Family Law Group is established (2016). - Australian Association of Collaborative Professionals established (2016). - North Brisbane Collaborative Practice Group is established (2016). - Asociación de Derecho Colaborativo de Euskadi ( Basque Country, Spain ) is established (2017). - First Brazilian Congress of Collaborative Practices (2017). - Quinte Collaborative Divorce and Kawartha Collaborative Practice are established (2017). - Victorian Association of Collaborative Professionals is established (2017). - Third Edition of Pauline H. Tesler, Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce Without Litigation , American Bar Association, Section of Family Law is published (2017). - Associació Catalana De Dret Col·laboratiu (Collaborative Law Catalan Association) ( Spain ) established (September 21, 2017). - Grupo Panameño de Practicas Colaborativas ( Panama ) is established (2018). - Collaborative Professionals of Canada is formed (April 28, 2019). - Forrest S. Mosten and Adam B. Cordover edit and the American Bar Association Section on Family Law publish Building a Successful Collaborative Family Law Practice (2019). - UCLA/R adoptions: Montana (October 1, 2015), Arizona (January 1, 2016), North Dakota (March 1, 2016), Florida (July 1, 2016 and eff. July 1, 2017 rules), New Mexico (December 31, 2017), Illinois (January 1, 2018), Pennsylvania (August 27, 2018), Tennessee (April 1, 2019).
2020 – present	- Academia Latinoamericana de Práctica Colaborativa) ( ALdeCO) ( Argentina ) is established (2020). - Collaborative Practice Sudbury is established (2020). - Malaysian Collaborative Practice Group is formed (March 18, 2021). - IACP is nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize (2022) - UCLA/R adoptions: North Carolina (October 1, 2020), Virginia (July 1, 2021), New Hampshire (October 9, 2021), Colorado (January 1, 2022), Kentucky (July 15, 2024), Louisiana (August 1, 2024), Mississippi (August 26, 2024), Connecticut (October 1, 2025), Oklahoma (January 1, 2026).

The first note maker, Stu Webb, said:

IACP, Collaborative Review , Vol. 2, No. 3 (Fall 2001).

The following table details the forward march of Collaborative Practice. "UCLA/R" refers to the Uniform Collaborative Law Act and Rule and jurisdictions that adopted it as the music unfolded.

The IACP, Practice Groups, UCLA – Supporting Collaborative Practice with Form and Structure

IACP: A Framework for a Coherent Whole

From the Minnesota lawyer, California dreamers, and Canadian colleagues, the burgeoning Collaborative Practice network became the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), a thriving, interconnected global community of legal, mental health, financial, and other collaborative professionals.

What drives the IACP? The IACP states its mission:

We unite and empower a global network of professionals who are dedicated to transforming conflict resolution using the principles of Collaborative Practice.

In service of this mission, the IACP's work includes:

Creating and educating members about ethical standards for Collaborative Practice;
Public outreach and education about Collaborative Practice;
Collecting data and conducting and interpreting research about Collaborative Practice, its cost, effectiveness, client satisfaction, and reach to various demographics;
Professional advanced training through webinars and in-person retreats;
Exploring neuroscience, systems approaches, and creative hybrid models to better fit and serve client needs;
Improving access to Collaborative Practice by underserved and diverse populations;
Encouraging leadership and mentoring among local and regional Collaborative Practice Groups; and
Fundraising and marketing.

The IACP supports Collaborative Practice with a framework that has integrity without stifling new, creative sounds.

Practice Groups: Composers and Players

The IACP connects Collaborative practice groups throughout the world. Practice groups themselves connect Collaborative professionals with each other by city, region, state, or country. There are over 200 active practice groups in the United States, Canada, Europe, Australia, New Zealand, South America, Asia, and other countries.

Colleagues in practice groups escape isolation in silos adversaries often find themselves in when working in other dispute resolution models. Members learn about each other. They form and build relationships. They see each other in action. Many first meet at general member meetings and become friends.

Legal, mental health, financial, and allied professional members of practice groups learn how to see the world and clients from each other's perspectives. They learn how to combine forces as teammates to serve people.

As the IACP does on a global level, practice groups take up and shape the standards for playing Collaborative music in their areas, supported by a framework of consistent principles to safeguard against its dissolving into chaotic noise.

Practice group members study Collaborative Practice, ethics, issues, and challenges from real-life examples. Many groups develop consistent protocols for Collaborative Practice, establish their own variations on standards and forms from actual experience, and focus on elevating members' training and education about Collaborative Practice. As they build the Collaborative community in their locality or region, practice groups work to educate the public about Collaborative Practice.

Uniform Collaborative Law Act and Rule: Joining the Orchestra, Supporting Its Structure

The Collaborative Practice movement draws further power from the Uniform Collaborative Law Act/Rule (UCLA/R), a model framework for Collaborative Practice. The Uniform Law Commission began drafting the framework in 2007 and completed the draft in 2010. The Commission's goal was to set consistent standards for the Collaborative Law process in jurisdictions considering formalizing Collaborative Practice by statute (Act) or by judicial rule (Rule).

To come up with an excellent product, the drafters received input from stakeholders ("Observers"). Among the Observers: the IACP, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML), the Family Law Section of the American Bar Association (ABA), the Dispute Resolution Section of the ABA, the ABA Commission on Domestic Violence, the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC), the Association for Conflict Resolution, bar association representatives, and legal scholars.

UCLA/R: A Model for Excellent Practice

As foundational principles support composing and playing music, so does the UCLA/R, constructed on foundational principles of Collaborative Practice, provide a consistent, uniform model for Collaborative Practice in jurisdictions that adopt its framework.

In the UCLA/R are standards for privileged confidential collaborative communications, disclosure of information, attorney disqualification from taking part in adversarial litigation, client-informed consent, ethical conduct, and screening for domestic violence.

On February 5, 2024, the American Bar Association's House of Delegates adopted Resolution 703, approving the UCLA/R as "appropriate for those states desiring to adopt the specific substantive law suggested therein."

Uniform Collaborative Law: Joining the March

As of this writing, twenty-eight jurisdictions (27 states and the District of Columbia) have adopted the Uniform Collaborative Law Act/Rule (UCLA/R) in the United States. In 2024, Kentucky and Louisiana (by statute), and Mississippi (by rule) joined the march. Oklahoma and Connecticut followed in 2025 (by statute),

Steady adoption of the UCLA/R reflects the evolving Collaborative Practice soundtrack. But, as chronicled above, the movement extends far beyond the UCLA/R. Collaborative Practice reverberates globally.

Collaborative Practice serving large populations thrives in states (Minnesota, California, New York, Massachusetts) and in countries (Canada, the UK, France, Brazil, Italy, Australia) that have yet to adopt the UCLA/R or an equivalent, yet were among the first places where Collaborative Practice took root.

Rough Numbers: Taking Up the Beat

Collaborative Practitioners and Practice Groups

Although no recent reliable estimate of practicing Collaborative professionals is available, thousands of practitioners – legal, financial, mental health, and allied professionals – who are trained in Collaborative Practice describe themselves as Collaborative professionals. They have helped thousands of families and non-family law clients resolve disputes respectfully, out-of-court.

In 2018, one judge estimated the growth of Collaborative Practice:

Today, every U.S. state and Canadian province acknowledges this practice of law. There are an estimated 20,000 trained collaborative lawyers and an estimated 50,000 or more completed cases.

Judges Love Collaborative Law—Here’s Why, American Bar Association News & Insights (July 2018).

Collaborative Listserv: Expanding Collaborative Professional Community

A measure of the expansion of the professional Collaborative community is the Collaborative Practice Listserv, a forum for Collaborative professional members to share confidentially ideas about Collaborative Practice on longer threads. The Listserv had 169 members in 2002. By December 2025, its membership had quadrupled to 676 members.

Internet Information: Collaborative Law and Collaborative Divorce

Internet searches, generally, have grown since the 1990s. Still, comparing Google search results is instructive as a gauge for growth in Collaborative Practice. Data through March 31, 2026 reflect exponential growth in the search terms "collaborative divorce" and "collaborative law" in Google Search (which began in 1998):

[contact author for chart]

Playing for the People: Collaborative Practice

Collaborative Practice might be a hollow, self-indulgent exercise if it were not for real people – families, businesspeople, clients in distress – who have inspired its development from initial sounds to a lush and vibrant soundscape that resonates with them as they resolve conflicts – privately and with dignity, respect, and creativity.

Conclusion

From a solitary note to a global symphony, Collaborative Practice has harmonized the efforts of Stu Webb, Pauline Tesler, and countless other composers and players into a force that has transformed conflict resolution. As practice groups strengthen worldwide, and amplify and reinvent the music, the melody endures. Thousands of practitioners worldwide will continue to join the orchestra and refine its symphonies to help people improve their lives by getting through and to the other side of conflicts.

Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals (FACP)

International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP)

Central Florida Collaborative Divorce

NOTE: Images go with the article, but this framework makes it difficult to submit them. Please contact me at michael@sampsoncollaborativelaw.com for the images, or go to the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals Collaborative Quarterly :

https://florida-collaborative-quarterly.ghost.io/collaborative-practice-from-a-root-note-to-a-movement/

Divorce by Design: Educating Clients on a Better Way Forward

Fri, 03 Apr 2026 02:52:10 GMT

By Melissa Murphy Pavone

Divorce by Design: Educating Clients on a Better Way Forward

For many people, divorce still feels like something that happens to them. It is often driven by conflict, guided by fear, and quickly moves into a legal process before there is a full understanding of what is at stake.

But it does not have to be that way.

My book, Divorce by Design , was written to introduce a different path. It reflects what collaborative professionals have long known. When the right team is involved, divorce can be approached with intention, clarity, and respect.

The goal of the book is to educate the general public on what we, as collaborative professionals, are so passionate about. Divorce does not need to be adversarial to be effective.

Bridging the Awareness Gap

One of the biggest challenges in collaborative practice is awareness.

Many individuals entering divorce do not know that a team-based, out-of-court approach exists. Instead, they often begin by hiring an attorney and moving forward with legal action before fully understanding their options.

By the time they learn about collaboration, positions may already be set and conflict may already be escalating.

Divorce by Design aims to meet clients earlier in the process so they can make informed decisions from the start.

Highlighting the Collaborative Team

A central theme of the book is that divorce is not just a legal event. It is also emotional and financial.

That is why the most effective outcomes come from a team-based approach.

Within a collaborative framework, each professional plays an important role. Mental health professionals support communication and emotional stability. Financial professionals provide clarity around assets, cash flow, and long-term sustainability. Collaborative attorneys guide the legal structure while keeping the process focused on resolution.

When these professionals work together, clients are supported from multiple angles. No one is expected to navigate everything alone.

Empowering Clients Through Education

At its core, Divorce by Design is about helping clients understand the process.

When individuals are educated on how the team works, what financial decisions mean long term, and how communication impacts outcomes, they are better equipped to move forward with confidence.

Education reduces fear. With less fear, decision-making becomes more thoughtful and more sustainable.

From Reactive to Intentional

Without guidance, many people make decisions in a reactive state. They may agree to terms quickly, focus on short-term relief, or make choices without fully understanding the long-term impact.

A collaborative approach allows for a different experience.

Clients can slow down. They can understand their options. They can make decisions that support their future, not just resolve the present.

This is what Divorce by Design encourages.

Expanding the Reach of Collaborative Practice

There is an opportunity for the collaborative community to continue expanding access by educating clients earlier and more broadly.

Books, content, and community education can help individuals understand that there is a structured and supported alternative to litigation.

When more people are aware of this approach, more families can benefit from it.

Designing a Better Divorce Experience

Divorce will always carry emotional weight, but it does not have to be defined by conflict.

When clients are informed and supported by a collaborative team, they are better positioned to move through the process with clarity and dignity.

Divorce by Design is an invitation to rethink how divorce begins, who is involved, and what outcomes are possible.

For those of us committed to collaborative practice, it reflects a shared goal. Helping more families navigate divorce in a way that is thoughtful, respectful, and built for the long term.

Collaborative Learning Outside of a Formal Collaborative Practice Group

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 18:19:14 GMT

Author: Ross Evans

This is the one in a series of articles being published by the IACP Practice Group Development Committee. They are intended to help Collaborative Practitioners be successful and Practice Groups grow and thrive. The opinions contained in these articles are those of the writers and do not reflect any official position of the organization.

Many new collaboratively trained professionals often wonder how to build, develop and strengthen their skill set after their initial training. Oftentimes they are not yet part of a Collaborative Practice Group or looking to develop apart or in addition to their practice group. We learned from our early development that the best way to assist our own personal skills was through learning and working with other collaboratively trained professionals. In fact, the best way to develop your own skills is to share success and failure with others who understand what is trying to be accomplished.

This brought about the concept of “Pods”. Just like with Dolphins, a Pod is a group of individuals who are creating a society for both learning and socialization. The Pod can be any size and created to help the members with any learning or training that will be helpful for each member. In many regions around the world, Pods are used as both part of the regional Practice Groups as well as stand alone learning groups to help develop collaborative practice. They can be based on region, skill level, commitment level, learning style, practice level or any other attribute that may be similar for the members. You may have 3 or 4 colleagues who all enjoy book clubs and your Pod may use the many available books on Collaborative Practice to strengthen your skills. You may like to talk in a smaller setting and the idea of sharing difficult cases with a larger group may be intimidating.

Creating a pod is as simple as reaching out to a few other practitioners and suggesting an initial get-together to determine if there is enough interest to get together on a regular basis. Some pods meet weekly, some monthly and some just make it a “whenever” we can get together creating an agenda or even just to hold “grand rounds” and discuss the current cases. We learn from our successes, and we also may learn more from our failures and having a small group of practitioners to break down what transpired can lead to great learning opportunities.

With the upsurge in the use of technology, the Pod does not even have to be present in the same space, and the use of Zoom, Teams or similar platforms can help bring people together. If meetings can be arranged in person, I would always suggest that as the preferred manner since spending time face to face is so important in our work and our learning.

Recent Florida Collaborative Divorce Survey Data Provides Insights for Teams around the Globe

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 19:29:52 GMT

Authors: Adam B. Cordover & Dr. Randy Heller

Why this matters now

Collaborative Divorce and Family Law continues to evolve around the world. As practitioners, we rely on evidence to refine how we work together — whether in divorce, parenting matters, or prenuptial and postnuptial agreements. A recent analysis of survey data conducted by Adam B. Cordover, managing attorney at Family Diplomacy: A Collaborative Law Firm , and Dr. Randy Heller, Adjunct Professor in the Department of Couple and Family Therapy of Nova Southeastern University and Collaborative Facilitator/Family Specialist . and owner of The Family Network , reviewed a decade of data gathered by the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals (“FACP”). This analysis provided compelling empirical support for the emerging trends regarding the effectiveness of the Collaborative Divorce process in general and an interdisciplinary approach in particular. The results of the analysis was first published in the Florida Bar Family Law Section’s Commentator Magazine , Volume XLV, Issue 1, 2025.

This blog highlights key research findings, what they mean for practitioners, and how we can apply them across cultures and systems.

Key takeaways for collaborative professionals

The vast majority of Collaborative Divorce cases (85%) reached a full Resolution.
Neutral interdisciplinary team members remain central to success.
Speed and resolution patterns align with prior International Academy of Collaborative Professionals research.

What the Florida data shows

Between 2014 and 2024, at the conclusion of a Collaborative matter, Collaborative Professional Teams throughout the state completed a survey identifying their experience of the matters in which they engaged. Survey participants were asked pointed questions about the substance of the matter, demographic information of the clients, and the clients’ relationships to each other and their professional team. The Florida survey was adapted from a previous survey crafted by the IACP Research Committee. Here are the major findings:

About 85 percent of cases ended in a full agreement, avoiding court entirely. This outcome closely aligns with earlier IACP research that found an 86 percent resolution rate for Collaborative cases, reinforcing consistency across decades and jurisdictions (Note to Editor – I can no longer find the 2010 Research, Summaries, or Collaborative Review Articles on the IACP website, but it would be helpful if this article linked to those materials so practitioners can dive deeper).
60 percent of matters resolved within six months, underscoring how efficient, focused interdisciplinary teamwork and client-centered processes can shorten timelines compared to adversarial paths.
Neutral Financial Professionals participated in 92 percent of cases, demonstrating that early, facilitated financial analysis remains a critical success factor.
84 percent involved Neutral Collaborative Facilitators (the term that Florida uses for the role of “Coach” or “Neutral Mental Health Professional”), highlighting the benefit for clients on receiving co-parenting, relational, emotional, and communication support.
63% of all-in costs fell between $20,000 – $75,000 (including Collaborative Attorneys, Facilitator, and Financial Neutral), demonstrating the need for professionals to provide realistic expectations for clients on costs.

This survey data emerged from front-line practitioners’ case closures, and typically collected during a final professional team debrief, making them especially relevant to how we, as professionals, conduct and conclude Collaborative matters as well as learn from our process.

What these outcomes tell us about practice

Confirmation of the interdisciplinary model

The high and significant involvement of both Neutral Financial Professionals and Neutral Facilitators reinforces the architecture of Interdisciplinary Collaborative Practice. Not only do these roles appear to reduce conflict; they allow each professional to bring their discipline-specific expertise to the arena, as they enhance client understanding and decision-making.

For teams seeking to strengthen their practice, this analysis offers quantitative support for training investments in facilitation skills and financial clarity work.

Alignment with IACP’s Research trends

The Florida findings reflect trends observed in past international research. IACP’s own research from 2010 showed similar resolution rates when divorcing parties engaged in the Collaborative Process.

This continuity of outcomes — over time and across regions — helps us advocate more confidently for Collaborative options with other professionals and with systems that may be unfamiliar with the practice.

Implications for case timing and planning

The fact that a majority of cases closed within six months suggests that Collaborative cases, when well-managed, may outperform typical litigated timelines. Although practice environments vary internationally, this information can:

Guide Teams to work more efficiently and responsibly,
assist teams in setting realistic expectations for clients,
support benchmarks for process improvement, and
help legal professionals to frame and legitimize Collaborative Practice to courts, lawmakers, agencies, and other decision-making or referral sources.

Practical steps for practitioners

Here are actionable ideas from the analysis that you can consider integrating into your practice today:

1. Track your own outcomes. Whether you are a lawyer, financial professional, or mental health practitioner, systematic data collection about case resolution, timeline, and cost helps refine your approach and illustrates value to skeptics. Local Collaborative Practice Groups or statewide/provincewide organizations, or national entities can serve as a repository of data collection, similar to how the FACP has served in Florida. It also provides you with data to offer prospective clients.

2. Strengthen interdisciplinary collaboration. Lawyers are urged to build relationships with mental health professionals and financial professionals in their communities and inform clients about the value that they add. That value can include a speedier resolution to relationally and emotionally challenging and financially fraught discussions.

3. Share your successes. Publishing data-driven insights, whether through IACP channels or local collaborative networks, helps build collective credibility for Collaborative Practice around the world. Lawmakers, judges, and other professionals ought to know that, though we can’t promise anything, when clients choose the Collaborative Process, they are highly likely to complete it with a full resolution. As mentioned earlier, we found an 85% success rate in Florida. That’s a big deal!

Conclusion

These statistics will be useful when informing potential clients, fellow professionals, and decision makers about the Collaborative Process. And, if you are gathering statistics in your practice or community, we would love to hear the results. Were your statistics similar to those in the recent Florida study and the 2010 IACP study? What did you find most interesting?

And if your community is interested in learning more about these statistics and would like to have a speaker on the topic, feel free to reach out to us.

Adam B. Cordover is a Florida Collaborative Lawyer and trainer with offices in Tampa, St. Petersburg, and Sarasota. He is co-author with Forrest S. Mosten of an American Bar Association book on Building A Successful Collaborative Family Law Practice. He is a former member of the Board of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and Former Chair of the IACP Research Committee as well as Former Chair of the IACP Ethics & Standards Committee. Adam is a former president of the Next Generation Divorce practice group and was honored to receive the inaugural Visionary Award of the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals for creating and co-instructing the FACP’s inaugural Leadership Institute.

D r. Randy Heller is a Collaborative Facilitator/Coach who is licensed in Florida, New York, and Connecticut. She is a member of the Board of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, the Board of the New York Association of Collaborative Professionals, and co-founder of the Florida Academy of Collaborative Professionals’ Research Committee. Dr. Heller has researched and published her doctoral dissertation on Competency and the Role of the Mental Health Professional in Collaborative Family Law. She has presented on this topic both statewide, nationally, and internationally, and has also published several book chapters and articles on this topic. Dr. Heller has also served as a Board member of the FACP, is past President of the Collaborative Family Law Professionals of South Florida, and a member of the Collaborative Family Law Institute and the Collaborative Family Law Professionals of South Florida.

12 Days of Co-Parenting Calm

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 16:47:17 GMT

Guest Post by: Deb Gilman

Day 1: A Partridge in a Calm Tree — Regulate First Start with emotional regulation. Before any transition, conversation, or plan… breathe. Your nervous system sets the tone for your child’s nervous system.

Day 2: Two Homes, One Message Align expectations with your co-parent—kids thrive when both homes feel predictable, not competitive. Share schedules, gift plans, and transitions in advance.

Day 3: Three Deep Breaths For you and your child. A mini ritual—three slow breaths before leaving one home and entering the other—creates safety and grounding.

Day 4: Four Feelings Allowed Joy, sadness, excitement, worry—children of divorce often feel all the feelings during the holidays. Normalize them. Hold space. Let them talk or take quiet time.

Day 5: Five Quiet Minutes Build in small moments of stillness. Five calm minutes—reading, snuggling, a warm drink—can reset an overstimulated child.

Day 6: Six Shared Traditions You don’t need identical homes. You need continuity. Choose one or two rituals both homes can honor— the same book, candle, countdown, or ornament.

Day 7: Seven Gentle Transitions Holiday transitions are extra tender. Keep handoffs calm, on time, and conflict-free. Kids feel every raised eyebrow and tight jaw—protect the transfer.

Day 8: Eight Words That Change Everything Tell your child: “It’s okay to enjoy time in both homes.” This lifts the heaviest emotional burden children carry.

Day 9: Nine Names for Gratitude At dinner or bedtime, name nine things you’re grateful for—big or small. Gratitude regulates the nervous system and builds resilience after divorce.

Day 10: Ten Minutes to Prepare Preview the day. Map the plan. Kids feel safer when they know what’s coming—especially in holiday chaos.

Day 11: Eleven Hands Helping Let your child help decorate, bake, wrap, choose, or create. Agency equals empowerment—especially during times of family change.

Day 12: Twelve Lights of Love Whether it’s lights, candles, trees, menorahs, stars, lanterns, or cocoa at bedtime— end the season with symbols of warmth, togetherness, and hope. Let your child feel the glow of two homes that care about their heart, not their schedule. ❄️ Your child won’t remember who had which day or which house had better decorations. They’ll remember how the holidays felt— calm, connected, and full of care. You’re not just co-parenting the season. You’re shaping their lifelong memories of what love looks like in two homes.

Why Use A 3-Step Divorce Team Mediation and How Does It Work?

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 00:10:38 GMT

By Ria Severance, LMFT

Attention Law and Grad Students - Get Collaboratively Trained!

Sat, 23 Aug 2025 01:02:59 GMT

Guest Post by: Randy Heller

“Peacemaking – Let it Begin with Me…!”

Kevin Robert Scudder, a cherished husband, father, and founder of the Seattle Collaborative Law Center, passed away on June 28, 2023, in Seattle at the age of 63, surrounded by his daughters, Clara and Ella, and his partner of 41 years, Anna Davis. His death followed complications from an allergic reaction to heparin after knee replacement surgery.

Born in Omaha, Nebraska, in 1960 to Charles Scudder and Barbara Binswanger, Kevin was the fourth of six siblings. He was known for his playful spirit, love of baking chocolate chip cookies, and dedication to keeping a tidy kitchen. His passion for music was nurtured by his parents’ involvement in the Omaha Folklore Society, and he developed a love for sports and nature during his childhood. His travels to Egypt and Israel deepened his commitment to conflict resolution.

As a lawyer, Kevin was a compassionate and diligent advocate. He became a leader in the Collaborative law community, serving with various organizations, including as President of Collaborative Professionals of Washington and on the Executive Board of the International Association of Collaborative Professionals. He was honored as "Professional of the Year" by the Washington State Bar Association Family Law Section in 2023.

Kevin’s personal motto, “Peacemaking. Let it begin with me,” reflected his commitment to helping families navigate divorce peacefully. He mentored many Collaborative professionals, leaving a significant legacy.

In honor of Kevin, the Kevin Scudder Higher Education Scholarship Fund was established to support Law and Graduate students in Mental Health and Finance in becoming collaboratively trained. Encourage the next generation to embrace the Collaborative Movement and learn peaceful methods for restructuring families.

Applications can be sent to Dr Randy Heller

drrandy@familynetworknewyork.com.

Collaborative Divorce, Kids, and Control: Creating Safer Parenting Plans That Actually Work

Fri, 06 Jun 2025 14:49:23 GMT

By Dr. Deb Gilman

Creating Safer Parenting Plans That Actually Work is never easy. (Groundbreaking insight, I know.) But when separation happens in the shadow of coercive control or intimate partner violence (IPV), “not easy” becomes “are we even in the same universe of difficult?” That’s why the collaborative divorce process can be so powerful—when done right.

But here’s the kicker: when coercive control or IPV are in play, collaboration needs to look different. It needs to be trauma-informed. It needs to protect. And most of all, it needs to center the kids.

Enter the Child Specialist: Not Just a Fancy Title

A child specialist is the emotional GPS of the process. They’re a neutral professional who meets with the kids and brings their voice into the room—without making them choose sides or sit through awkward adult drama. Think of them as the one person whose job is just to care about how the kids are doing, what they need, and how the parenting plan can support that. In cases involving coercive control, the child specialist becomes even more crucial. They can spot subtle dynamics that others might miss—like a parent undermining the child’s relationship with the other parent, or pressure that’s not technically “violent” but is deeply destabilizing.

IPV and Coercive Control: Why the Standard Playbook Doesn’t Work

Here’s the thing: collaborative divorce was designed for people who can sit at the same table and play nice-ish. But when coercive control is involved? That table can become a performance stage, and abusers often know exactly how to look cooperative while manipulating the process behind the scenes. So yes, collaboration is possible in these cases—but only if the professionals are trained to spot coercion, not just bruises.

This means:

Separate meetings where needed
Coaching for the less-dominant partner
Adjusted timelines to reduce pressure
Ongoing screening for safety
And sometimes… an acknowledgment that full collaboration isn’t safe or fair right now

Making Parenting Plans That Aren’t Just Wishful Thinking

A parenting plan should not be a fantasy novel. It should be a clear, enforceable, detailed roadmap that accounts for the real power dynamics in the family.

That means:

Built-in structures to prevent manipulation (like neutral drop-offs, third-party communications, and clear decision-making protocols)
Flexibility for the child’s developmental needs—not the ego of either parent
Input from the child specialist that’s actually reflected in the plan (novel idea, I know)

Bottom Line: Collaborative Divorce Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

When it works, the collaborative process can be transformative—even healing. But when IPV or coercive control are involved, the process needs to adapt, not pretend it’s business as usual. With the right professionals (and that includes a solid child specialist), it can still lead to better outcomes for kids and a more stable post-divorce reality.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about “winning” the divorce. It’s about protecting the kids, reducing harm, and maybe—just maybe—starting a new chapter that isn’t ruled by fear.

Rethinking Resistance: How Motivational Interviewing Unlocks Collaboration—and Reveals the Need for Neutrals

Fri, 06 Jun 2025 14:43:19 GMT

Guest Post by: Dr. Deb Gilman

Resistance shows up in the Collaborative Process in all kinds of subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways:

And the instinct, especially for well-meaning professionals, is to explain. We tell. We reassure. We present logical reasons and try to “sell” the benefits of bringing in a neutral.

But here’s the paradox:

The more we try to persuade, the more resistance grows.

Why? Because resistance isn’t about logic. It’s about autonomy .

When clients feel unsure, overwhelmed, or emotionally raw, they often cling to the one thing they can control: saying no. They’re not rejecting us—they’re trying to protect themselves. And our explanations, however thoughtful, can feel like pressure.

That’s where Motivational Interviewing (MI) becomes a game-changer.

What is Motivational Interviewing?

Motivational Interviewing is a client-centered approach that helps people explore their own reasons for change. Instead of telling them what to do, we ask curious, open-ended questions that invite reflection.

MI rests on a powerful truth:

People are more motivated by what they hear themselves say than by what they’re told.

In Collaborative Practice, MI allows us to shift from persuasion to partnership—to guide clients, not push them. And when we do that, the magic happens: resistance melts, insight emerges, and clients often name the very needs we hoped they’d recognize.

The Magic Formula: Ask Insightful Questions

Instead of defending the value of neutrals, try offering space for the client to reflect. Below are 5 powerful insight-based questions rooted in MI principles. Each one is designed to help the client uncover their own needs—whether emotional, practical, or relational.

These questions don’t tell clients why they need support.

They help clients realize it for themselves.

1. What would it look like to feel supported during this process?

Clients may begin to recognize emotional fatigue, decision paralysis, or the desire for a steady presence to walk beside them.

2. What concerns do you have about communicating directly with your co-parent or partner?

This often surfaces patterns of conflict, miscommunication, or anxiety that a neutral could help manage or mediate.

3. If you had a professional focused only on helping you stay grounded and focused, how might that help you reach your goals?

This allows clients to connect the dots between internal regulation and external results.

4. What’s been hard about making decisions together so far?

This question gently uncovers roadblocks—like power struggles, stuck patterns, or fear of being overpowered—that can be eased by facilitation.

5. How do you imagine your kids might benefit from having this process go more smoothly?

When clients reconnect with their “why,” they often realize that accepting help is one of the most child-centered choices they can make.

When the Client Says It, It Sticks

By asking instead of telling, we return control to the client in a way that feels empowering, not overwhelming. This is especially powerful when clients are vulnerable, reactive, or skeptical.

And when clients say it out loud—“ I think I’d feel safer with someone guiding the conversation ,” or “ This would really help us keep things calm for the kids ”—their resistance begins to soften.

They’re not agreeing because we told them to.

They’re agreeing because it matters to them.

Want the Printable Client Tool?

I’ve turned these five questions into a downloadable handout with gentle checkboxes and reflection prompts—perfect for intake sessions, pre-meeting prep, or follow-up coaching.

�� Contact me to receive the free digital worksheet. Deb@drdebgilman.com

Let’s stop convincing.

Let’s start listening differently.

✨ The most powerful insight is the one that comes from within.

Collaborative Divorce: A First Class Flight

Fri, 09 May 2025 17:15:01 GMT

You have options for the path your divorce process takes. After a successful, peaceful, and respectful Collaborative Divorce, you and your family may feel as though you’ve had a “first class” flight, at no greater cost than the seats at the back of the airplane. So…which seat will you choose?

The challenges to maintaining civility and professionalism in the Collaborative Process

Thu, 11 Apr 2024 00:07:00 GMT

Tips on how to overcome the challenge of working with a non-collaborative professionals in the Collaborative process.

Litigation or Collaborative Divorce? Know What You’re Signing Up For!

Wed, 10 Apr 2024 17:41:00 GMT

24º Foro Anual de Redes y Educación de la IACP: Cambie el Futuro Colaboración - Cómo Importan el Cambio Global y las Redes

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 06:49:00 GMT

24th Annual Networking & Educational Forum: Change the Future Collaborate

Mon, 20 Nov 2023 06:45:00 GMT

Change the Future Collaborate