Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding, Identifying, Managing Narcissism in Collaborative Divorce Cases

Narcissism is on the rise in our society, and as a result, we are seeing an increase in narcissism and the deleterious effects of these personality traits on the spouse and children in our divorce cases. The client with narcissistic traits can often present well initially, appearing charming, articulate and rational, while the spouse may appear anxious, flustered and irrational. These initial impressions can mislead team members to develop skewed perspectives about the parties which may serve to sustain power and control imbalances, overlook critical parenting-related concerns, and disregard the targeted spouse’s expressed needs and concerns. When team members overidentify with their client’s perspective and align with their client’s position, the team experiences impasse, discord, and possible derailment to litigation.

Attend and explore narcissism and the relationship dynamic of “narcissistic abuse,” with a focus on developing the skills to identify and manage these traits and dynamics in our cases. We will practice having “difficult conversations” with our team members when these traits infiltrate the professional team “container,” and learn ways to optimally manage cases with clients with this difficult personality style.