Dear Collaborative Friends, Many of you are wrestling with the decision to come to Forum. This is not unlike other years where we each assess our lives – family, work, finances, health – balancing the equation to see if we can make it work to join our Collaborative Colleagues from around the world to learn together, deepen our relationships, and expand the Collaborative Movement. This year there is the additional variable for some to consider due to hurtful and dangerous legislation in Florida aimed at many groups, including the LGBTQI+ Community. I am grateful that many of you are struggling with this choice as it lets me know you care deeply and want to minimize the pain and suffering of others. In the recent IDEA Gathering we struggled together with this choice through the lens of creating change and being an ally and advocate, recognizing that there is no one “right” way to do it. I think history shows us that it takes many strategies to achieve lasting change working within and outside of the systems in which we want to see the change. Two key ingredients for me in assessing my role as an ally and advocate are relational influence and impact. To explain this further I’m going to share part of my personal story. When my spouse and I came out to our families all of my spouse’s family was unsupportive and most of my family was unsupportive. My spouse still has no contact with her family and no hearts and minds have changed over the decades. My family and I chose to stay in relationship, navigating our differences to this day. Both paths are painful. Both paths have an impact. What I have seen happen over time is that my willingness to stay engaged and in relationship has created change varying from some family members changing their votes and becoming advocates in their rural, Southern American communities, and others opening their hearts and minds to love others in a more tolerant manner. Is it perfect? No. Is it all the change I would wish to see? No. Is it always safe for me? No. I recognize that a family system is different from a government system and therefore the actions we assess to create change may look different. However, both are systems that involve people who make choices. I try to listen to the voices of those most impacted by these larger systems, build relationships with them, and learn what they want and need from me especially when I am not an in-group member who is directly impacted by the harm that is occurring. And that is how I am approaching Forum – I choose to go, listen and learn what marginalized communities in that area need from me, as well learn how I can support my Collaborative Colleagues living there as advocates and allies. It is hard being on the front lines of this kind of work. I know that personally, as I live in Tennessee, an American state that has regular legislation aimed at harming LGBTQI+ individuals and families. Relationships and community are one way to renew and energize to keep going – Activists speak to this all the time. IACP and Forum provide us with that renewal and energy to not only support the local Florida community in their efforts, but to listen and learn and expand the work around the world. LGBTQI+ individuals and families are marginalized, attacked, and killed daily around the world. The threat does not just lie in Florida. I am grateful that this conversation is happening within IACP. And I don’t see it as just applying to Florida or the LGBTQI+ community. It is a much broader conversation that is essential to the work that we do to help families and communities, many who are marginalized by oppressive systems. And who is better skilled at staying at the table, engaging in hard conversations, and working toward solutions than Collaborative Professionals? I hope to see you all at Forum and continuing this conversation through our Peacemakers Special Gathering, Nadine Smith, CEO of Equality Florida, our Plenary speaker, a variety of Workshops focused on IDEA, and those meaningful connections conjured up during conversations over meals, in the hallways, and at our tables during workshops. Please continue reading below to learn more about how your attendance at Forum can be a form of allyship. With Sincere Gratitude, Julia McAninch IACP Incoming Board President |